Shit Friend Syndrome: 21st century dilemma

WHILE having a coffee with friends, the topic of shit friends repeatedly arises. Seems we all are or have all been troubled by shit friends from time to time - the only difference being a) the friend and b) the extent of their shittness.

The worst shit friends are the repeat offenders: those who keep doing shit things to their friends time after time. These are the types of shit friends we are talking about here. Having spent so much time debating shit friends, the term Shit Friend Syndrome (SFS) has been coined. 

Shit friend syndrome is  the state in which your life is plagued by the repeated shitty actions of a shit friend. A shit friend is a friend who does one or more of the following:

a) doesn't treat you the same as you treat them or 

b) who takes, takes, takes but doesn't give or

c) whose actions seem a blatant disregard to the feelings/schedule/lives of others

The annoyance of SFS is that, often,  the shit friend is the one that organises the things they then cancel or ruin. For example, a shit friend may suggest you meet at the gym only to message you after the meeting time saying they will not make it. Or inviting you out for coffee then cancelling because they have somewhere else to be.

Tegan* acknowledges her shit friend  is not the brightest star in the sky. Cathy* once cancelled a meeting with Tegan saying she was at the doctors waiting for an appointment, but posted a message on Facebook (at the same time!) to another friend  asking her to come over and try some of the chocolate cake she had just baked.

Sue* tells the story of how she was looking forward to a visit from her shit friend on Christmas Eve. Sue had been looking forward to the company after a frantic day alone cooking and cleaning. Plus, Karen* (her shit friend) said she had a little present for Sue.  Well Karen* didn't come around - she had too many other friends/family to see. Although Sue has seen Karen multiple times this year, the "little Christmas present" has not surfaced.

Sally's* shit friend Julia* is always bitching and whinging about her other circle of friends. She complains about one eating crap then whinging about her weight, one is bad with money, one is lazy, another self-centred...you name it, Julia has bitched about every possible detail of her other friend's personalities and life. Sally wonders what Julia says about her when she is not around.

Modern society has definitely helped in the prevalence of the shit friend, especially Facebook. Instead of letting people fall out of your life in due course, we stay connected to them, pretending the original reason for the friendship still exists. How many of your Facebook friends would you actually call a friend rather than an acquaintance? Would you even call them an acquaintance without Facebook suggesting you "reconnect" or telling you it's their birthday or enabling easy invitation to their events?

It should be stressed that a shit friend does not just do one thing to upset or trouble their mate. They repeatedly do shit things, therefore making them a shit friend. For example. a shit friend is likely to have done all of the above stories, not just one as a one off event.

In today's ever connected society, with only six degrees of separation between us and every other person on the planet, how do you get rid of a shit friend? Can you get rid of a shit friend? While you can't control the actions of others, you can control your reaction and behaviour. Perhaps ignoring a shit friend will result in them fading away? 

A shit friend, however, is not likely to be a shit friend to all their friends. According to SFS sufferers, their shit friend seems to be an amazingly thoughtful, caring, loving friend to others. This is what makes SFS so frustrating. It would be easier to understand someone being an all round jerk and therefore shit friend.

So how do you ensure you are not being a shit friend to any of your friends? We have composed a Shit Friend Checklist:

1. Do you regularly make plans with your friends but cancel on them? 

2. Do you ignore texts/emails/calls/Facebook posts from your friends until you have something to tell them or need something from them?

3. Would you agree that you receive more than get give in your friendship? 

4. Have you forgotten the last time you hung out with your friend one on one?

If you answered YES to any of the above questions you are at risk of being a shit friend.Maybe you should reconsider if you really want to stay friends with the person you are causing SFS for?

Have you ever suffered from Shit Friend Syndrome or are you a shit friend?








*Names changed to protect the innocent, not the shit friends. All stories are true and accurate.

My next fancy dress party theme: Hipster

WHEN something is said to have jumped the shark, it means it has declined in quality beyond recovery - something (or someone) has reached their peak and are now heading downhill. Just because we love using the phrase so much, each week Word Chic will detail a situation/object/tv show/idea/etc that we believe has jumped the shark (JTS). Introducing week one's JTS topic: Hipsters.

hipster, n. (slang)

1. A person who markets a facade of originality for social standing, when in fact they are not original; attention seeking and fake.

2. People who, despite following the hipster style trends, music, and culture, deny being a hipster.

Synonym: pretentious

Once upon a time you could count on one hand the amount of hipsters you knew (or would see one out and about). Except, they weren't always called hipsters. In fact, I can't for the life of me put my finger on a past name for hipsters.

Once upon a time a "hipster" was someone who dressed eclectically - fashioned from finds at Vinnies, Salvos and the like. They listened to music you had never heard of and kept to their own little crew because that is who understood them.  Now, hipsters are a farce.

Once upon a time I envied hipsters. I tried to find similar clothes in op-shops, to no avail. I never "got" their music. I wasn't "ironic" in the right sort of way. I was a hipster wannabe - the people hipsters hate. 

There is no fear of abuse from hipsters about arguing they have jumped the shark because no hipsters read this blog. This blog isn't cool enough for hipsters. This blog is not ironic. Most of the postings are mainstream. Photos uploaded are not taken on old school Polaroids or the like.

So why have hipsters jumped the shark?

- Hipsters are meant to be dressed originally, in their own unique fashion. Instead, hipsters are carbon copies of each other.Their clothes are now mainly purchased through chain stores (like the rest of us!) not vintage stores.

- Hipsters want to convey the perception that they  put absolutely zero effort into their respective scenes, that they are just naturally quirky like that. And everybody already fucking knows that all hipsters do is obsess over how to pull their scene. They fail at everything else — like working — because they spend all their time hunting for mustache wax and authentic leg warmers.

- When people hold a theme party in your style, you have jumped the shark (hipster themed parties are all the rage on the States I have been told)

- Children think dressing like hipsters is cool (I gathered this information from a very reliable source - my nieces), especially the glasses

- Comedians LOVE to mock hipsters. My favourite is the Bedroom Philosopher's song Northcote (So  Hungover) below.

- Hipsters will hate something just because you like it. Hipsters are the type of people who immediately hate Triple J's Hottest 100 because it's "so commercialised and mainstream."Popular things are popular for a reason. Trying to be "progressive" but really just being a anti- establishment tool is not cool.

If you are not convinced that hipsters have jumped the shark then I leave you with this Honda Jazz ad.

Just like hippies, emos and goths before them, hipsters have jumped the shark - they have declined in quality (are no longer original, quirky, enviable and cool), and are heading downhill.

Do you agree hipsters have jumped the shark?

Your choice or already chosen?

LATELY I’ve been doubting the existence of “destiny” or “fate.” While I’m not religious (much to my parents dismay) I still always felt there has to be more to life than just plodding along for the sake of it and hoping for the best. So the idea that my destiny/fate was pre-ordained gave me great solace, and has left me without any real life regrets.

Crappy day at work – must be for a reason.

Flat tyre on the highway – valuable lesson learnt.

Overspending on  outfit then starving the rest of the week – not my fault, it was destiny!

Lately though I’ve have some obstacles smash me in the face, with no resolution or lesson to be found or learnt. Just smash after crash after bump. Then I found out some news that, although upsetting, made me smile a little (more about this later).

Destiny is defined as a predetermined, inevitable and unchangeable course of events. Destiny is the path paved for you through life whereas fate is the end result, the finality of the destiny path. The problem many people have with destiny (and fate) is that it seems you must accept the notion that freewill is an illusion. This never worried me. As far as I was concerned, it felt like my decisions were based on freewill, so who cares if the answer was predetermined anyway?  

So how much do people believe in or rely on destiny in their lives? 

Does a belief in destiny and fate also require a belief in karma or the notion of soul mates?

Believers in destiny/fate are those most likely to have had the Reason, Season, Lifetime poem strike a chord with them (which I wrote about here). Are they also the same people who go to see psychics? 

When a psychic tells you whats in the future, it must be because it is already set, surely? Otherwise how would they know? Or is it that psychics tell you about a path and you then ensure you pave and follow that path, therefore making the psychics observations accurate and real? Anyone who has been to a good psychic knows the answer to this.  But is seeing a psychic cheating on destiny? Or is it just that psychics are the new psychologists?

While I've been struggling with the mountain of s&%^ life has thrown at me, my first instinct was to go and see a psychic. Why? So they could speak their wisdom and shed some light (and hope) on the current situations and the future. I didn't (only because the best psychic I know of has a six week waiting list). I imagine many people go to see psychics for the same reason, when they are in similar predicaments.

Whatever your belief, as mentioned above something happened recently that refreshed my belief a little.  Just as I was giving up hope, hating the world and wanting to hide under my doona forever, I received the news that made me express a little smile.  Earlier this year I applied for a writing position within a major media outlet. It was for a new project they thought would be revolutionary and highly profitable. I didn't get the job,, but more importantly after just a few months the project was exposed to be neither revolutionary nor profitable so it was cancelled.  Seems it was not within my destiny to be stuffed around in a position that would not last. Faith renewed, at least enough so I can focus my energy on dealing with life;s s%$# a little more clearer and easier. If I am just living out my destiny, then I will come out the other side stronger. 

Do you believe in destiny and/or fate?

Walk to School Day 2011 - success or farce?

In case it is not 100% clear, the blue 4WD is parked next to parked cars illegally, with the champagne car deciding to do the same.

This is on a Friday afternoon school run at a local primary school.

TODAY is national Walk to School Day and, as the name suggests, the idea is for parents to get their primary school aged children outside to get some fresh air, get some exercise and walk to school. Did your kids walk to school today? Or for those childless folk like me, did you encounter a flood of walkers this morning in your travels?

The Pedestrian Council of Australia (PCA) started Walk to School Day twelve years ago to help promotes the message "active kids are healthy kids" and asks parents to walk all or part of the way to school with their children to start healthy habits from a young age. Some of the functions the PCA is concerned with are the continual improvement of pedestrian safety, amenity and access, and the promotion of walking as a legitimate transport mode and an important, healthy, social activity.

In the later years of primary school I rode my bike to school and in high school I walked so the idea that there needs to be an advertised “walk to school” day seems sad to me – but also a sign of the times (we are all so time poor and reliant on our cars now). Then again my family didn’t own a car so really there was no alternative for me.  

There are of course many different circumstances preventing children from walking or riding to school regularly. However Deakin University found that less than half of all primary school children who live within 15 minutes of their school actually walk to school. They also found that 75% of those kids who are driven to school WANT to walk to school. Hmmm...

Walk to school day makes me ponder two things. One – the dire parking situation at schools. Two – why are teenagers exempt from this day?

Parking at schools

I have done the school run (drop off and pick up) a few times recently with my sister for my two nieces. While the mornings are busy, the afternoons are absolutely ridiculous. “Wow” and a head shake in disbelief, is really the only way to describe the influx of cars, parking or stopping illegally, causing a litany of various traffic hazards. No doubt some of these parents who drive their kids to school and pick them up would claim to do so for the child’s safety – then park 3 cars deep over a two laned road.

Recently an article in the Sunshine Coast Daily argued that schools need more parking as the current situation is dangerous.

The parking problems listed are no doubt apparent at most schools (especially primary schools) around Australia:

-      limited parking spaces for parents dropping off or picking up their kids

-      drivers stopping in no-parking areas

-      drivers staying too long in the drop-off zone

Naturally, debate raged amongst readers, although most comments seemed to be in favour of parents not driving their children (a feat easier said than done perhaps). However one reader argued that it is not safe to let your kids walk or ride to school because of the “amount of paedophiles” around, and quoted the Daniel Morcombe case as an example. The reader also quoted “crazy drivers” as a risk to their child’s safety (ironic perhaps, my opinion is above). One thing is for certain here – a life lived in fear is not a life lived. Statistically a child is more likely to be in a car accident, with a family member driving then have an encounter with stranger danger.

Teenagers?

As mentioned above, Walk to School ay is directed at children to encourage a healthy lifestyle and healthy habits at a young age. Still, shouldn’t it be open to all school age children including teenagers? Is it ever to late to foster healthy habits? Or are teenagers left out under the assumption that they are more likely to walk to school?

On my morning walk I have been privy to some interesting behaviour. I witness cars banked up at the bus stop for both pick up and drop off. Now I don’t know how far these cars are travelling to and from said bus stop – they may in fact be too far away for the child to walk.  However I have even witnessed one parent drive their two children up their street (which is a steep incline), drop the kids at the top, then do a U-turn and head back home. While I acknowledge the street is steep, and would be a pain to walk up every day, what lesson is this teaching these children? The street would not be 100 metres in total, so even though it is steep, it is not a mammoth walk.

What are your thoughts on Walk to School Day?



What legacy will my 20s leave behind?

What was that Madge? I needn't worry about ageing, as long as I can afford plastic surgery? Cool! 

NOT sure whether to be filled with great fear or great solace, it seems women find their stride in their thirties. No matter who the female, or what profession they undertake, I keep reading this notion. It is normally accompanied with some sort of description of how their (the female in question) life in their twenties was wild and fun, or tumultuous and scary, or out of control or lazy. This helps, to some degree – the idea that your twenties don’t really bare all that much importance to your future. It seems the twenties are just a stepping stone (albeit long). Are your twenties the period that allows you to make your way to the path you are destined for? If so, I’ll be glad to put this boring, stressful, seemingly pointless era behind me.

Women always seem to mention “beauty” as an important aspect of their twenties also – which also causes me great reservations about the future.  If this is me at my most beautiful, God help me. But I guess I can take comfort in the fact that beauty won’t matter too much in the future (unless you believe thirties are the new twenties and forties are the news thirties, etc, etc). Or, to be more accurate, I will have a lot more to offer than just appearance, and take price in the fact.

I wonder if, when my twenties are long passed,  I will still feel like they were the years where the weight of the world sat on my shoulders; and no matter how much time or effort I put into lifting said weight, I simply could not? Ah, as the adage goes, only time will tell.

(I might need to have words with my worry doll tonight)

Wearing a bra but still playing with Barbie

THE adultisation* or sexualisation of children is not a new talking point in the media. Sexy ads, raunchy video clips, children’s beauty products and clothing have all copped flack in the past.  The one that always riles me up, however, is children’s padded bras. Yes, padded. Yes, I am serious!

A friend of the family, aged 12, was sporting a padded bra recently. Feeling uncomfortable asking her myself, I asked a family member if my suspicions were correct and they confirmed yes. Apparently she always wears them now. It wasn’t half obvious – I didn’t even need to look hard. No 12 year old has perfectly round and pert breasts.

I had breasts at 12, but they were more like a stack of fried eggs than breasts. Still, I was wearing bras but normally just sports bras. I remember padding my bra once with scrunchies, walking around sticking my chest out and feeling attractive and mature. I also remember my mum seeing me do so, going berserk, and confiscating the scrunchies (oh the horror!). I don’t think this was the start of my body confidence issues but, despite always being well-endowed I have never loved my body. Maybe this was the start of my issues here?

I also don’t remember bras being cool or interesting – they were seen as adult. Even training bras were something I kept private and thought were secret. Training bras now are revered amongst girls as young as 8 as being a cool fashion accessory. I know kids who can’t get through Kmart or Target without drooling over the bonds training bra and matching sets, much like me walking past a shoe store.

 Children’s bras have great rewards lingerie and underwear makers and retailers. The concept is to obtain brand awareness and loyalty young to ensure more profits from each consumer over a longer period of time.  Is this necessary? For retailers and underwear makers – yes. Are the bras necessary? Training bras....um...maybe??? But padded bras – surely not!

By allowing children to have padded bras are we starting body confidence issues early? Also, why would you provide your child with an item of clothing that draw attention away from their face? THEY ARE A CHILD! I’m not going to go down the path of writing about how padded bras (sexualisation of a minor) may encourage paedophilia besides suggesting you think about the possibility.

The potential positives about training bras and padded bras are twofold:

1.       Girls who do develop early won’t feel as awkward and isolated as they may have in the past (and may not incur as much bullying) if all girls their age are wearing bras also.

2.       Girls who develop late may not feel as upset, stressed or anxious as others will not know they are late bloomers if they are wearing training or padded bras.  

Despite the positive I still find a young girl wearing a padded bra highly disturbing and wrong.

What do you think about bras for young girls?

*not a real word but widely used when discussing this issue



Getting from A to B risk free

THERE are few things more sobering than seeing blood being hosed off the road. Or white sheets covering an unspeakable but undeniably recognizable entity. Or the sight of someone being consoled by emergency services, near a metal wreck that could not possibly have been a car..could it? It is one thing to see these images on TV shows, advertising, newspapers or the Internet. It is another thing to see them first hand. 

My partner and I were first on the scene to a single vehicle crash on the Bruce Highway, Christmas Eve a few years ago. We were travelling southbound, just before Brisbane, and a car drove up an embankment and flipped over onto its roof a few hundred metres in front of us. 

While my partner was on the phone to 000, desperately  trying to fit his arm in the wrecked window to turn off the engine, fuel was spilling out of the car and the passengers were screaming. I was trying to put my recently acquired first aid training to use by asking questions to keep the passengers calm and conscious. The smell of alcohol was overpowering. The car was so crumpled that, laying on the road, looking through the window, I could not make out where the bodies started and where the ended. Or how many people were in the car. So when a female starting screaming about her “babies” I thought there were children in the car. It took every ounce of self control not to just walk away and cry. 

It felt like time had stopped and the police were never going to arrive. Other cars stopped both to try help, and to gawk. One man was ripping the front of the car and turning the engine off manually somehow while debate started to rage about trying to get the passengers out of the car. Then emergency services started to arrive. Police took our statements and said we could leave. The passengers were still in the car when we drove away – firemen were using the Jaws of Life. Disturbing. Heartbreaking. Sobering. We never heard anything about it on the news so I pray it wasn’t a fatality. But who knows? Only their family.

Easter Sunday, on the Bruce Highway heading from Brisbane to the Sunshine Coast traffic was at a standstill. I rang Queensland Government Transport and Traffic Hotline (131940) to find out what was happening. It was a multi-vehicle crash over 1km ahead. Thirty-five minutes later, being diverted off the now closed highway,  I saw the eight crumbled up vehicles sitting across all three lanes, facing every direction, smashed together like a puzzle. The Queensland Police Service reported there were no fatalities but after seeing the mess I don’t know how that is possible. 

What disturbed me the most was not the sight of the wreckage. Or the six ambulances called to the sight. Or the four police cars, or the two fire trucks. It was the cars speeding past me when we were back on the highway. I became paranoid that I was driving well under the speed limit as car after car zipped past me. I wasn’t. Everyone else was speeding, making up for lost time I suppose? It was a 100km zone and cars would have easily been pushing 120km. These weren’t single occupant cars either. Or P platers. These were predominantly cars full of families. I was, and still am gob-smacked. Flabbergasted. Bewildered. Disturbed. Frustrated. 

The problem with drivers today is arrogance and ignorance. Simple. Everyone knows that speed kills, drink driving makes you a bloody idiot, red lights mean stop and seat belts save lives. Yet every day we are surrounded by people who flaunt a blatant disregard for the rules. Why?

The Transport Accident Commission Victoria (TAC) surveyed Victorian drivers in January this year about their perceived socially acceptable driving behaviours. Speeding was deemed the most “socially acceptable” of all illegal driving behaviours. Of those surveyed up to sixty percent believe driving ten percent over the speed limit is acceptable.  Many drivers across the country (and even the world) would no doubt agree. To put this in perspective, consider the following:

To drive from my house to my parent’s house is 81km, and involves driving on roads with speed limits ranging from 50km suburban streets right up to 110km zones on the Bruce Highway. If I drive ten percent over the speed limit the entire journey, I will get to my destination six minutes earlier. SIX MINUTES!!! 

Government departments can introduce as many different rules, regulations, advertising campaigns, fines, incentives or educational initiatives as they want but realistically, the problem comes down to the individual. How do you change the mentality of the driver who is willing to disobey the law, despite knowing all the risks associated? 

Next time you considering ignoring the rules or regulations of driving consider this:

Can you afford the fine?

Can you afford to lose your license?

Can you afford to repair your car?

Can you afford to lose your car?

Can you afford to destroy your life as you know it?

Can you afford to cause grief to all who love you?

Can you afford the guilt of knowing you destroyed someone else’s life?

Are you an arrogant and/or ignorant driver?

Pre-mix spirits drinkers rejoice

Media coverage of the AERF report on Channel 7's The Morning Show

WAR has again been waged, but the question this time is who will really benefit?

Woolworths and Coles are slashing alcohol prices on pre-mix spirits, such as Bundaberg Rum and cola and Jim Beam and cola cans. The major supermarkets have been at war with their prices for bread, milk, eggs, chicken and even laundry detergent, using slogans along the lines of "because everyone needs milk./bread/eggs/etc." Does everyone need alcohol? What next - cigarette prices slashed?

According to media reports, the alcohol price war started a week ago, right around the time a report, commissioned by the Alcohol Education and Rehabilitation Foundation (AERF) found that more than four million Australian's drink to get drunk. About half of those surveyed said they get drunk at least once a week. Thanks to the supermarket giants, these people will now have more money to fund their efforts providing their indulgence is pre-mixed spirits.

Why would the supermarkets choose alcohol as their next price war?

AERF chief executive Michael Thorn said that over the past decade Australia's problem with alcohol had got worse.

"There's been an increase in violence, an increase in hospitalisations. There's an ongoing indigenous despair and rising community costs conservatively put at $36 billion a year," he said in Canberra, April 14.

Lowering prices on alcohol cannot possibly help the situation. Thorn said aggressive marketing of alcohol by both producers and retailers tells a sorry tale for Australians. He called for a minimum price on alcohol because there is clear evidence that price influences consumption.

Won’t anyone think of the children? The alcohol war is also likely to raise concerns regarding the fact that pre-mixed “alcopop” drinks are a source of major concern in relation to young and under age binge drinking by health campaigners.

It is easy to point the finger at who is responsible for alcohol issues in society Government? Retailers? Individuals? The real issue is that Woolworths' and Coles' actions cannot possibly help. One thing is for sure, discounting pre-mixes just in time for the Easter/Anzac Day long weekend is sure to boost profits - not that they needed the help considering the extra grocery expenditure that will take place also.

For the record, Woolworths own and operate Woolworths Liquor, BWS, Dan Murphy's and Langton bottle shops. Coles own and operate 1st Choice, Liquorland and Vintage Cellars bottle shops.  

Is discounting pre-mixed spirits a good thing or a bad thing?

Fly Killing 101

To say I hate flies would be an understatement. I'm sure I'm not alone in this hatred. The sound or sight of just one little disease spreading winged a*#hole makes my blood boil, sending me in a blind rage, trying to kill the critter with any suitable object in sight. While they pose an extreme inconvenience to me at all times, a fly in my room at night, when I wish to sleep, is the pinnacle of annoyance. I can't even watch footage of people who have flies lingering around them - this sends me mad but with no hope of resolve except to shut off the TV or computer, followed by a shiver up my spine.  

Sure flies (like every other creature on this earth) play a vital role in our eco-system. Their maggots help decomposition of dead animals and other organic material. Having no decaying animals at my house, therefore making their role in my immediate eco-system seem redundant, I can’t help but wish they would procreate elsewhere off (if you know what I mean).

Besides being a cause of irritation and aggravation, people tend to detest flies because they are disgusting. Flies are capable of carrying over 100 pathogens, such as salmonella and parasitic worms. It also doesn't help their reputation that they vomit on their food (read OUR FOOD) to aid their digestion, and leave their faeces on everything they touch.

Despite being vile, despicable creatures, there are people who believe flies should not be harmed. Back in June 2009, US President Barack Obama upset People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) when he killed a fly with his bare hands during a television interview. PETA spokesperson Bruce Friedrich told the media at the time that PETA would be sending Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher device (see left) because they "support compassion for even the... least sympathetic animals." This devise allows you to catch flies, or other insects or spiders, and release them elsewhere, rather than just kill them. For those of you who think this device is a good idea, maybe don't read the rest of this piece – you may find the following distressing.

If you are still reading, I think I know why. All this talk of flies and their despicable nature is eating away at you and driving you insane. You're lusting for a fly kill aren’t you? Well, I've got some great news for you. I've compiled a list of fly killing arsenal to aid in your murderous rage.

Venus Fly Trap Plant

The Venus Fly Trap is the most famous carnivorous plant in the world. All varieties (there are more than 20) catch and digest insects and arachnids. Basically when an insect climbs inside the jaws of the plant, tiny hairs are triggered and after a few seconds the plants closes, allowing digestive enzymes to retrieve all the nutrients possible. After a few days the plant reopens, leaving an skeleton to be washed or blown away.

  

Some say Venus Fly Traps are hard to keep alive, but being that they are relatively inexpensive (I got two at the markets for $10 each) and low maintenance (sit the pot in bowl of water, re-fill when empty), I think they are worth the try.

Venus Fly Trap Robot

Yes - that's right, a robot that mimics the real thing. When motion sensors detect a fly or insect within its jaw, the robot snaps closed, leaving the fly trapped in the jar below for your enjoyment or sick experiments. No mess, just death. Slow and painful death. Potential extreme annoyance hearing the fly buzzing around in the jar though?

Fly Gun

This spring loaded plastic projectile gun makes swatting flies fun. By fun, I mean fun for the whole family, whether shooting it at flies or each other. Can be very frustrating though as the gun sometimes loses its course no matter how fantastic your aim.

Rolled up newspaper or magazine

Just roll up and swat fly when they remain stationary. Inexpensive and easy...unless your aim or reflexes are bad. The aftermath can get pretty messy to clean up though (ewww...fly guts).

Fly swatter

Cheap and easy to find at supermarkets or hardware stores. Method is self explanatory, mess is normally a little less than rolled papers but can still be icky.

Fly Spray

Best option for those with bad reflexes or aim, and those with a penchant for poisonous murder. BUT one has to ask what is worse for your health - fly germs or poison?

Do flies send you into a murderous rage?

Jury is still out on Mayan calendar predictions but what about Mayan worry dolls?

WORRY dolls are an arguably ingenious idea. Created by the Ancient Mayans and replicated by multiple Central American cultures, the idea is that you tell the worry doll your problems, place it under your pillow and the doll will take your problems away or deal with them for you while you sleep.


Guatemalans, Peruvians and Mexicans (to name a few) might be onto something with these inexpensive, simple creations. A study into “emotional closure” by Xiuping Li and her colleagues at Singapore's National University found that metaphorically dealing with issues like regret and distress can actually alleviate the issue at hand.


In their research they asked respondents to write down a regret they needed “emotional closure” from and place the note in an envelope. Half the group then sealed their envelope, the other half didn’t. Those who sealed their envelope afterwards reported they felt far less negative about the regret. Li and associates conclusion: expressing an issue, then sealing it puts the troubles metaphorically “out of reach” and enables a higher level of emotional healing than simply expressing the issue.


What does this mean for the worry doll? Worry dolls are commonly given with a box or bag that they are to be put into before being placed under one’s pillow. If we believe even a speck of Li’s study, then by telling the worry doll your issue and then sealing it up, you are likely to achieve some emotional healing, albeit sub-consciously.


Cultures who believe in worry dolls give children a worry doll at a young age, to help them through life from their earliest awareness’s. Today worry dolls are often used in child therapy, specifically hospitals.


The Child Life Therapists at Westmead Children's Hospital in New South Wales use worry dolls as a form of expressive art therapy to help children deal with the stresses of their ailments and hospital life.


UC Davis Medical Centre, in Sacramento California, run a Healing and Performing Arts program for children with cancer. Art (including worry dolls) is used to help the children express their feelings and emotions about their cancer journey.
Grade 7 Languages students at Thurmont Middle School in Maryland America learnt about determination, having a purpose and helping someone in need by making worry dolls and donating them to children at local hospitals. The students learnt about worry dolls in Guatemalan culture as a way to address the issue of health, specifically the fears of children while in hospital. The outcome was to help comfort the hospitalised children and increase their chances of improved health.


Western psychologists often use worry dolls (or “worry warriors” in psycho-babble) as a creative way to teach coping skills for grief, anxiety and stress in children.


There is also a multitude of worry dolls designed specifically for adults. A quick check on EBay and you will worry dolls for work, marriage, love, travel, you name it!


So if you know someone who is not dealing with life’s obstacles very well, and missing sleep because of it; forget flowers, chocolates and alcohol and get them a worry doll. Actually, make a hamper containing flowers, chocolates, alcohol and a worry doll: you can never be too prepared.


Do you believe in worry dolls?

Not tonight honey, I'm spending time with the dog.

Cav had is own Collingwood Guernsey for the AFL Grand Finals 2010

LONG suspected, now confirmed: Australian women prioritise their dogs over their partners. The PawClub.com.au surveyed over 80,000 dog owners and found 77 per cent of women surveyed spent more time with their dog than their partner. Four out of five female respondents admitted they devote more money to their dog than their partner also. You can view the results here.

The survey also revealed dogs are firmly ingrained in our psyche as another member of the family, with 52% of dog owners surveyed confirming they sign their dogs name on birthday and Christmas cards.

There would be seldom dog owners surprised by this survey.

So why do we love our dogs so much?

Studies show dogs make us both physically and mentally healthier, and therefore happier. They lift our spirits and help us relax. They motivate us to actually get some exercise because, rain, hail or shine, they are always keen for a walk. Dogs keep us company and make us feel safer when we are alone. They also put our minds at ease by safeguarding the house when we are out.

For children, studies have shown that growing up with pets (particularly dogs) during infancy helps to strengthen the immune system and reduces the risk of allergies linked to asthma. Teenagers who grow up with pets are more likely to have a positive outlook on life and report less loneliness, restlessness and boredom.

What's not to love?

There is another side to the story, and it won’t leave you feeling warm and fuzzy. Dog behaviourists argue that by treating your dog as equal, you are creating a myriad of behavioural problems. Your dog is less likely to be obedient when it thinks you are equal, and is more likely to display aggressive, jealous behaviours towards your partner if your actions place the dog on a higher pedestal. Canine experts also argue that assuming dog’s actions carry human emotions is one of the biggest areas to overcome. For example, when a dog is constantly leaning on you, putting his paw on you, using his nose to make you pat them, and always feeling the need to be touching you in some way, behaviourists argue this is not your dog loving you; it is your dog displaying dominant behaviours.  In the dog world, space is respect. A dog that is constantly nudging you and leaning on you, is disrespecting you, and being the alpha dog.

They argue the most important thing to remember is although we have domesticated dogs, we cannot rid them of their animal instinct.

Whether you agree with the behaviourists or the majority of Australian women, or prefer cats instead, one thing is for sure: life is better with a pet.

The experts may say  Cav is trying to be the alpha dog, but I prefer to think he wanted me to take him on holidays too.

Do you spend more time with your dog/s than your partner?

The charity challenge: help a stranger

AUSTRALIANS and New Zealanders are renowned as the most charitable nations in the world. This was proven when the Charitable Aid Foundation (CAF) conducted an investigation into charitable nations, September 2010.

Using the Gallup World View World Poll for their investigation, the CAF found that, compared to 151 other countries, Aussies and Kiwis are (equally) the most charitable with both their money and their time. What might surprise you, however, is that the survey was not restricted to donations or volunteered time to charity/aid organisations. The survey also considered how many people had helped a stranger in need.

Remember the movie Pay it Forward? It is the story of a young boy who attempts to make the world a better place, one good deed at a time. The brilliance of this movie is the fact that it could work.

Believers of the “Six degrees of separation” theory or karma would argue that by engaging in one good deed, you will soon be rewarded with help from a stranger yourself. What have we got to lose?

A friend of mine once gave some international visitors the $2.50 they were short at Woolworths. She was lined up behind them and said that besides the fact that it was only small change, she wanted to prove a point to the woman behind her who was huffing and puffing "hurry up."

"I know how confusing money can be in different countries so I just wanted to help them out a little and give them a nice story to tell about Aussie kindness when they got home.  Can you believe the cow behind me sniggered at me when I did it! The incident was more embarrassing for her than the visitors I think."

Another friend of mine paid for an elderly lady's haircut one Sunday after he heard the staff tell her that seniors' concessions would not be honoured  due to increased cost of labour that day. He told me,

"I wish I could have stayed to watch her face when they told her."

Finally, a third friend recently received much praise on Facebook after posting her kind act of the day as her status. A little old lady had withdrawn a large sum of money at an ATM, then walked away without it. So this friend grabbed it and ran after her to give it back.

Whether it be an act of human decency, a kind gesture to make someone smile, or helping someone in need, when is the last time you did something selfless for someone you didn't/don't know? Imagine if we all went out and completed a random act of kindness. It may not make the world a better place but it just might make someone's day. What harm can it do?

Share your stories of random acts of kindness below, whether you were the giver or the receiever. Let's celebrate that there are still good people out there in the world.