What legacy will my 20s leave behind?

What was that Madge? I needn't worry about ageing, as long as I can afford plastic surgery? Cool! 

NOT sure whether to be filled with great fear or great solace, it seems women find their stride in their thirties. No matter who the female, or what profession they undertake, I keep reading this notion. It is normally accompanied with some sort of description of how their (the female in question) life in their twenties was wild and fun, or tumultuous and scary, or out of control or lazy. This helps, to some degree – the idea that your twenties don’t really bare all that much importance to your future. It seems the twenties are just a stepping stone (albeit long). Are your twenties the period that allows you to make your way to the path you are destined for? If so, I’ll be glad to put this boring, stressful, seemingly pointless era behind me.

Women always seem to mention “beauty” as an important aspect of their twenties also – which also causes me great reservations about the future.  If this is me at my most beautiful, God help me. But I guess I can take comfort in the fact that beauty won’t matter too much in the future (unless you believe thirties are the new twenties and forties are the news thirties, etc, etc). Or, to be more accurate, I will have a lot more to offer than just appearance, and take price in the fact.

I wonder if, when my twenties are long passed,  I will still feel like they were the years where the weight of the world sat on my shoulders; and no matter how much time or effort I put into lifting said weight, I simply could not? Ah, as the adage goes, only time will tell.

(I might need to have words with my worry doll tonight)

Not tonight honey, I'm spending time with the dog.

Cav had is own Collingwood Guernsey for the AFL Grand Finals 2010

LONG suspected, now confirmed: Australian women prioritise their dogs over their partners. The PawClub.com.au surveyed over 80,000 dog owners and found 77 per cent of women surveyed spent more time with their dog than their partner. Four out of five female respondents admitted they devote more money to their dog than their partner also. You can view the results here.

The survey also revealed dogs are firmly ingrained in our psyche as another member of the family, with 52% of dog owners surveyed confirming they sign their dogs name on birthday and Christmas cards.

There would be seldom dog owners surprised by this survey.

So why do we love our dogs so much?

Studies show dogs make us both physically and mentally healthier, and therefore happier. They lift our spirits and help us relax. They motivate us to actually get some exercise because, rain, hail or shine, they are always keen for a walk. Dogs keep us company and make us feel safer when we are alone. They also put our minds at ease by safeguarding the house when we are out.

For children, studies have shown that growing up with pets (particularly dogs) during infancy helps to strengthen the immune system and reduces the risk of allergies linked to asthma. Teenagers who grow up with pets are more likely to have a positive outlook on life and report less loneliness, restlessness and boredom.

What's not to love?

There is another side to the story, and it won’t leave you feeling warm and fuzzy. Dog behaviourists argue that by treating your dog as equal, you are creating a myriad of behavioural problems. Your dog is less likely to be obedient when it thinks you are equal, and is more likely to display aggressive, jealous behaviours towards your partner if your actions place the dog on a higher pedestal. Canine experts also argue that assuming dog’s actions carry human emotions is one of the biggest areas to overcome. For example, when a dog is constantly leaning on you, putting his paw on you, using his nose to make you pat them, and always feeling the need to be touching you in some way, behaviourists argue this is not your dog loving you; it is your dog displaying dominant behaviours.  In the dog world, space is respect. A dog that is constantly nudging you and leaning on you, is disrespecting you, and being the alpha dog.

They argue the most important thing to remember is although we have domesticated dogs, we cannot rid them of their animal instinct.

Whether you agree with the behaviourists or the majority of Australian women, or prefer cats instead, one thing is for sure: life is better with a pet.

The experts may say  Cav is trying to be the alpha dog, but I prefer to think he wanted me to take him on holidays too.

Do you spend more time with your dog/s than your partner?

Time: life's enemy

 THERE are moments in our life that, for one reason or another, stick with us forever and continue to shape our thoughts and actions. One of the most resounding conversations of my lifetime was with a dear friend, over a wine or three, as I was about to head on a round the world trip.

My friend assumed the most exciting part of my upcoming travels was going to be the adventure of experiencing foreign countries, people, customs, and food, making amazing memories and seeing first hand all the monuments or places we see on tv or learn about at school. But she was wrong, and very surprised to hear so. The best part was going to be living without the interference of time. Let me explain.

Think about your day. Think about all the things you need to do and how they always have a deadline. Does the following sound remotely familiar?

Wake up - look at the time, work out how much time you have to eat breakfast and get ready before you have to leave for work. Make a coffee/breakfast, sit down to eat/drink it, check the time, knowing there is a particular time you need to be in the shower to ensure you are ready to leave for work on time.  Finish eating breakfast, check time, decide to have shower. Have shower, check the time. Get dressed, check time knowing you must do your hair/make-up or shave (if male) by a certain to time to ensure you leave home on time to get to work on time. Apply make-up, do hair, check time -  knowing you still need to pack your lunch/work gear/whatever and leave for work as soon as possible to fight traffic and get to work on time. Pack stuff for the day/work, check time - now it's time to leave for work. Check time – with good traffic you will get to work on time. Continuously check time while driving (regardless of whether traffic is good or bad), wondering if you will make it to work on time. Get to work, log on to computer, check time. Wonder if you can sneak in a quick coffee? Decide to try. While making coffee, check time. Get back to desk, check time, it’s time to work.

Did you get sick of reading the word time? I sure as hell got sick of writing it! And herein lies my point - this is what I was looking forward to avoiding when I traveled.

The way I saw it, I was about to jetset around the globe, and there was nothing to hold me back. I would wake-up when I wanted, head to wherever I wanted, enjoy/see/do whatever I wanted, all the while without contemplating "in [x amount of time] I need to be at work/friends/family/gym/class/etc." Sure time would prevent me from going to places after they closed, but no one was going to be telling me where I had to be and when.

The happy part of this story is that even after I ran out of money and started waitressing I never felt like time ruled me. Work wasn’t a chore because every shift I did meant I could experience more. I crammed as much as I could into every day. Sure I was where I needed to be when I needed to be but because of a different outlook on life I felt in control. Time wasn’t going to get the better of me. And time didn’t, for a few years anyway.

The sad part of this story started as I did some archiving over the weekend I came across a card from said friend [above pic] and realised time is destroying my world because I'm too conscious of it. I'm not making the most of my time. I never go with the flow. I'm usually not enjoying every  moment for what it is. I check the time constantly. I'm always thinking about the next thing to do. Wake/Eat/Work/Gym/Walk dog/Eat/Sleep My life would be a perfect BCF ad because when you look at my life day to day, "That ain't livin'."

In that past life, before I traveled the world, the company my friend and I worked for had the motto, "Make the most of now." That's the new plan, from here forward. 

I will accept that there are things that need to be done at certain times, that I have responsibilities I can't ignore, and take solace in the fact that we are all in this together, all fighting with and for time.

When I can, I will ignore time. It won't exist. All that will exist will be the moment I am in. When I can't ignore time, I will look forward to my timeless moments and hopefully these moments will come to fruition and become timeless memories, just like my last drinks with the friend mentioned. That was not only a timeless conversation and moment I will no doubt never forget but the first time I truly lived in ignorance of time.

As another birthday approaches, still un-decided on how to celebrate, there is one thing I have decided on. Any celebrations at my home will involve every clock/watch/time reference will be removed or covered and banned from conversation.  I might be a year older but the celebration will be timeless (in one way or another).

You can’t stop time but you can ignore it.

Does "time" rule your life?