Determining your child's relationship with money.

IMAGINE this. A child walks up to the counter of a toy store, mum in tow, to ask the price of his chosen item. The shop attendant replies $24.95. The child's face drops, he swings around to his mum and says, "But I've only got $20." Never fear, supermum to the rescue, she contributes the extra and tells her son, "You can pay me back." What is the lesson this child is learning about money?

This scene happens daily in stores across Australia, and no doubt the rest of the Western world also. While it seems simple and harmless enough, it may be setting your child up for a bad relationship with money.

Another similar scene in stores that cater for children goes like this: child wants to buy item they like.  The parent suggests the child to resist the purchase and instead save their money so they can afford a better, more expensive item. Child declines. Parent pleads with child to not buy item/s but to save up for bigger, better item. Child declines. Parent then tells child they are not spending their money today, they will instead save it for a bigger, better item. Whinging, whining, crying, screaming ensues. Then either:

a) parent buys item/s for child so child can save their money or 

b) child leaves with parent only to return and purchase original item/s or 

c) child buys item  but parent continues to tell child they  made the wrong choice and should have saved for a bigger, better item. 

What do  these scenarios teaches a child about money? 

When I was a child we were broke. So broke we couldn't afford a car. Instead my dad would ride a bike to the supermarket and complete multiple trips to get all the goods home. His carrying capacity was limited to  filling a  basket on the front of the bike and milk carton on the back. 

As a child I remember mum would get incredibly excited on pay day. Dad would get home with a little yellow envelope and hand it to mum, who would then pull out her "bills" book. She would put aside whatever money needed to go towards due (or overdue) bills, put aside some money for the groceries, and the either: 

1. Do a little dance and sing a song because there were leftovers to spend (waste)

2. Yell at dad for not earning enough (if the bills amounted to more than dad's pay). Then cry.

Option 2 was the most common. Option 1 only happened around tax return time.

What did this teach me about money? Until just a few years ago, on pay day I would pay any bills due immediately and then go to an ATM and withdraw the rest. I would then put aside my share of the shopping budget and then spend the rest. If I didn't have enough money to cover bills AND waste on luxuries, I would get angry at myself for not earning enough. Sound familiar?

So if you "chip in the rest" for a purchase your child can't afford, stop to consider what you may be setting yourself and your child up for: your child lending money from you (frequently) or your child racking up debts by buying things he/she cannot afford. 

As for making your child save for something bigger and better? There is definitely merit in this, but pre-planning will ensure success. Throwing the idea at them on the day they have chosen something else (especially if they are in the store holding it) is not great planning. Also, if your children see you saving for bigger, better things then they may be more likely to copy. Don't preach to them a "do as I say not as I do." 

Four quick tips for teaching your child about money (adapted from a money-savvy eight year old):

1. Buy only when they have enough money.

Don't chip in on the spot - make them save for it. 

2. To help them save for the fun things they really want, make sure they can see the money.

Let them save the money in cash or write their balance on a whiteboard or piece of paper on the fridge. Make sure it is something THEY want or else they will have no real desire to save.

3. If they need more money, find a way for them to earn it.

Of course it is age dependant what they can do for more money but naturally they should not receive money for things they should do, like "brushing their teeth" or "eating their greens." If you pay them for doing these sorts of things, what motivation do they have to do them without pay?

4. Find ways to have fun without spending money.

Yes money is great and brings convenience but it is not everything.

What lessons about money are your children learning from you?

Walk to School Day 2011 - success or farce?

In case it is not 100% clear, the blue 4WD is parked next to parked cars illegally, with the champagne car deciding to do the same.

This is on a Friday afternoon school run at a local primary school.

TODAY is national Walk to School Day and, as the name suggests, the idea is for parents to get their primary school aged children outside to get some fresh air, get some exercise and walk to school. Did your kids walk to school today? Or for those childless folk like me, did you encounter a flood of walkers this morning in your travels?

The Pedestrian Council of Australia (PCA) started Walk to School Day twelve years ago to help promotes the message "active kids are healthy kids" and asks parents to walk all or part of the way to school with their children to start healthy habits from a young age. Some of the functions the PCA is concerned with are the continual improvement of pedestrian safety, amenity and access, and the promotion of walking as a legitimate transport mode and an important, healthy, social activity.

In the later years of primary school I rode my bike to school and in high school I walked so the idea that there needs to be an advertised “walk to school” day seems sad to me – but also a sign of the times (we are all so time poor and reliant on our cars now). Then again my family didn’t own a car so really there was no alternative for me.  

There are of course many different circumstances preventing children from walking or riding to school regularly. However Deakin University found that less than half of all primary school children who live within 15 minutes of their school actually walk to school. They also found that 75% of those kids who are driven to school WANT to walk to school. Hmmm...

Walk to school day makes me ponder two things. One – the dire parking situation at schools. Two – why are teenagers exempt from this day?

Parking at schools

I have done the school run (drop off and pick up) a few times recently with my sister for my two nieces. While the mornings are busy, the afternoons are absolutely ridiculous. “Wow” and a head shake in disbelief, is really the only way to describe the influx of cars, parking or stopping illegally, causing a litany of various traffic hazards. No doubt some of these parents who drive their kids to school and pick them up would claim to do so for the child’s safety – then park 3 cars deep over a two laned road.

Recently an article in the Sunshine Coast Daily argued that schools need more parking as the current situation is dangerous.

The parking problems listed are no doubt apparent at most schools (especially primary schools) around Australia:

-      limited parking spaces for parents dropping off or picking up their kids

-      drivers stopping in no-parking areas

-      drivers staying too long in the drop-off zone

Naturally, debate raged amongst readers, although most comments seemed to be in favour of parents not driving their children (a feat easier said than done perhaps). However one reader argued that it is not safe to let your kids walk or ride to school because of the “amount of paedophiles” around, and quoted the Daniel Morcombe case as an example. The reader also quoted “crazy drivers” as a risk to their child’s safety (ironic perhaps, my opinion is above). One thing is for certain here – a life lived in fear is not a life lived. Statistically a child is more likely to be in a car accident, with a family member driving then have an encounter with stranger danger.

Teenagers?

As mentioned above, Walk to School ay is directed at children to encourage a healthy lifestyle and healthy habits at a young age. Still, shouldn’t it be open to all school age children including teenagers? Is it ever to late to foster healthy habits? Or are teenagers left out under the assumption that they are more likely to walk to school?

On my morning walk I have been privy to some interesting behaviour. I witness cars banked up at the bus stop for both pick up and drop off. Now I don’t know how far these cars are travelling to and from said bus stop – they may in fact be too far away for the child to walk.  However I have even witnessed one parent drive their two children up their street (which is a steep incline), drop the kids at the top, then do a U-turn and head back home. While I acknowledge the street is steep, and would be a pain to walk up every day, what lesson is this teaching these children? The street would not be 100 metres in total, so even though it is steep, it is not a mammoth walk.

What are your thoughts on Walk to School Day?