The silent competition of the children's birthday cake

YOU don’t have to speak to many mothers to realise that motherhood is a competitive sport. Whether it be whose munchkin walks first, says the cutest phrase, gets the best grades at school or scores the most goals in their chosen sport, war is waged from birth. Never has the extremities of the competition been more obvious than children’s birthdays.   

I was thrown some pretty spectacular birthdays as a kid. I also endured some very lame chicken dinners and Woolies sponge cake birthdays too. But there were presents, and a token friend or two either way so I loved each celebration. I know of kids who are yet to experience a lame birthday and that’s fine – I’m not judging – I’m just pondering the stress parents go through in the competition, mainly the birthday cake.

Arguably the most competitive part of the birthday party is the cake. While I am sure there are still Woolies sponges with mock cream making appearances at birthday parties, fancy schmancy designer cakes or cupcakes are gaining popularity.

The following picture was bought into the child’s kindergarten for all to share. Normally parents take simple cakes or cupcakes into kindy/prep/school and reserve the best cake for the real party or birthday (so I am told). If this is true for this kid, imagine the cake on the big day!   

I read a story recently about how in one family, a month before each child's birthday, the birthday child got to flick through The Australian Women's Weekly Children's Birthday Cake Book and choose the birthday cake they wanted their mum to bake. Little did they know but their mum had glued some pages together, leaving only the cakes she believed she could have success with. While the mother recalls how some cakes she attempted were embarrassing to produce as they just did not work out, all the children remember is how every year they had an awesome cake thanks to their loving mum. Awww...

Some people just don't have the baking prowess to successfully produce an awesome themed cake. I wonder how the mum felt who produced the "shark" cake below? A decent effort I think, and I'm sure the child loved it but... well...And herein lies the truth behind the competition. We can't help but judge!

Then there are other mothers that could make even the most complex cake look easy, telling only their nearest and dearest friends or family of the ordeal they faced to be able to produce ANYTHING in time. Note: I say mothers because I am yet to meet (or hear about) a father who baked an extravagant birthday cake for there child. I am sure there are dads  out there that have and/or will but again, I do not personally know of any. But just to prove there are men who do the cake baking, check out this Angry Birds cake - it is epic!

Having no children myself, I have never had the stress of attempting to bake the perfect themed birthday cake. However, I have a niece in love with Paris (and all things Parisienne) so I am contemplating baking her the following. It will be easy, right? Fun maybe? Bring on the stress!

Have you fallen victim to the birthday cake competition?

Friends today, gone tomorrow

FRIENDS come and go, like the tides. It's sometimes a sad fact of reality and sometimes a blessing, depending on the “friend”. Not Facebook friends, real friends.

What constitutes a real friend? Facebook, and our ever advancing technologically savvy world, have definitely blurred the line.  

David Wong, Senior Editor of Cracked.com says scientists have coined a term for the test of real friends, The Naked Photo Test. The test is: imagine a naked photo of yourself. Not just any naked photo - one with you in an extremely compromising, perhaps even highly abnormal position. How many of your "friends" would you trust to look after the photo and keep it secret? According to the theory, they are your real friends.

So what constitutes a "real" friend for the rest of us?

Do you class real friends as people who impact your life?

People you actually have face to face contact with, or would stop and chat to in the street?

The people allowed to  see you without my make-up on?

The photo above is from one of my birthdays. It is typical of the type of stupid, fun, crazy stuff we all celebrated together (the girls front centre are NOT really kissing, by the way). They were my nearest and dearest circle of friends. I would have trusted them with my "naked photo", and they all saw me sans make-up multiple times. How many am I still close with? Not as many as I would like, because the tides changed and those swept out to sea found an alternate life and circle of friends elsewhere.

   

The poem Reason, Season, Lifetime has always helped me make sense of my ever changing friend list. Along with changing jobs, partners, houses, gyms, and so on, our friends rarely stay the same for any extended period of time. Or at best we lose touch, then reconnect months or years later, usually via Facebook.

Whatever your definition of "real" friend, and despite how you feel about friends coming and going, here's hoping that your friends make you feel as warm and fuzzy as the little characters in the clip below (what's not to love?).

Time: life's enemy

 THERE are moments in our life that, for one reason or another, stick with us forever and continue to shape our thoughts and actions. One of the most resounding conversations of my lifetime was with a dear friend, over a wine or three, as I was about to head on a round the world trip.

My friend assumed the most exciting part of my upcoming travels was going to be the adventure of experiencing foreign countries, people, customs, and food, making amazing memories and seeing first hand all the monuments or places we see on tv or learn about at school. But she was wrong, and very surprised to hear so. The best part was going to be living without the interference of time. Let me explain.

Think about your day. Think about all the things you need to do and how they always have a deadline. Does the following sound remotely familiar?

Wake up - look at the time, work out how much time you have to eat breakfast and get ready before you have to leave for work. Make a coffee/breakfast, sit down to eat/drink it, check the time, knowing there is a particular time you need to be in the shower to ensure you are ready to leave for work on time.  Finish eating breakfast, check time, decide to have shower. Have shower, check the time. Get dressed, check time knowing you must do your hair/make-up or shave (if male) by a certain to time to ensure you leave home on time to get to work on time. Apply make-up, do hair, check time -  knowing you still need to pack your lunch/work gear/whatever and leave for work as soon as possible to fight traffic and get to work on time. Pack stuff for the day/work, check time - now it's time to leave for work. Check time – with good traffic you will get to work on time. Continuously check time while driving (regardless of whether traffic is good or bad), wondering if you will make it to work on time. Get to work, log on to computer, check time. Wonder if you can sneak in a quick coffee? Decide to try. While making coffee, check time. Get back to desk, check time, it’s time to work.

Did you get sick of reading the word time? I sure as hell got sick of writing it! And herein lies my point - this is what I was looking forward to avoiding when I traveled.

The way I saw it, I was about to jetset around the globe, and there was nothing to hold me back. I would wake-up when I wanted, head to wherever I wanted, enjoy/see/do whatever I wanted, all the while without contemplating "in [x amount of time] I need to be at work/friends/family/gym/class/etc." Sure time would prevent me from going to places after they closed, but no one was going to be telling me where I had to be and when.

The happy part of this story is that even after I ran out of money and started waitressing I never felt like time ruled me. Work wasn’t a chore because every shift I did meant I could experience more. I crammed as much as I could into every day. Sure I was where I needed to be when I needed to be but because of a different outlook on life I felt in control. Time wasn’t going to get the better of me. And time didn’t, for a few years anyway.

The sad part of this story started as I did some archiving over the weekend I came across a card from said friend [above pic] and realised time is destroying my world because I'm too conscious of it. I'm not making the most of my time. I never go with the flow. I'm usually not enjoying every  moment for what it is. I check the time constantly. I'm always thinking about the next thing to do. Wake/Eat/Work/Gym/Walk dog/Eat/Sleep My life would be a perfect BCF ad because when you look at my life day to day, "That ain't livin'."

In that past life, before I traveled the world, the company my friend and I worked for had the motto, "Make the most of now." That's the new plan, from here forward. 

I will accept that there are things that need to be done at certain times, that I have responsibilities I can't ignore, and take solace in the fact that we are all in this together, all fighting with and for time.

When I can, I will ignore time. It won't exist. All that will exist will be the moment I am in. When I can't ignore time, I will look forward to my timeless moments and hopefully these moments will come to fruition and become timeless memories, just like my last drinks with the friend mentioned. That was not only a timeless conversation and moment I will no doubt never forget but the first time I truly lived in ignorance of time.

As another birthday approaches, still un-decided on how to celebrate, there is one thing I have decided on. Any celebrations at my home will involve every clock/watch/time reference will be removed or covered and banned from conversation.  I might be a year older but the celebration will be timeless (in one way or another).

You can’t stop time but you can ignore it.

Does "time" rule your life?