Fly Killing 101

To say I hate flies would be an understatement. I'm sure I'm not alone in this hatred. The sound or sight of just one little disease spreading winged a*#hole makes my blood boil, sending me in a blind rage, trying to kill the critter with any suitable object in sight. While they pose an extreme inconvenience to me at all times, a fly in my room at night, when I wish to sleep, is the pinnacle of annoyance. I can't even watch footage of people who have flies lingering around them - this sends me mad but with no hope of resolve except to shut off the TV or computer, followed by a shiver up my spine.  

Sure flies (like every other creature on this earth) play a vital role in our eco-system. Their maggots help decomposition of dead animals and other organic material. Having no decaying animals at my house, therefore making their role in my immediate eco-system seem redundant, I can’t help but wish they would procreate elsewhere off (if you know what I mean).

Besides being a cause of irritation and aggravation, people tend to detest flies because they are disgusting. Flies are capable of carrying over 100 pathogens, such as salmonella and parasitic worms. It also doesn't help their reputation that they vomit on their food (read OUR FOOD) to aid their digestion, and leave their faeces on everything they touch.

Despite being vile, despicable creatures, there are people who believe flies should not be harmed. Back in June 2009, US President Barack Obama upset People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) when he killed a fly with his bare hands during a television interview. PETA spokesperson Bruce Friedrich told the media at the time that PETA would be sending Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher device (see left) because they "support compassion for even the... least sympathetic animals." This devise allows you to catch flies, or other insects or spiders, and release them elsewhere, rather than just kill them. For those of you who think this device is a good idea, maybe don't read the rest of this piece – you may find the following distressing.

If you are still reading, I think I know why. All this talk of flies and their despicable nature is eating away at you and driving you insane. You're lusting for a fly kill aren’t you? Well, I've got some great news for you. I've compiled a list of fly killing arsenal to aid in your murderous rage.

Venus Fly Trap Plant

The Venus Fly Trap is the most famous carnivorous plant in the world. All varieties (there are more than 20) catch and digest insects and arachnids. Basically when an insect climbs inside the jaws of the plant, tiny hairs are triggered and after a few seconds the plants closes, allowing digestive enzymes to retrieve all the nutrients possible. After a few days the plant reopens, leaving an skeleton to be washed or blown away.

  

Some say Venus Fly Traps are hard to keep alive, but being that they are relatively inexpensive (I got two at the markets for $10 each) and low maintenance (sit the pot in bowl of water, re-fill when empty), I think they are worth the try.

Venus Fly Trap Robot

Yes - that's right, a robot that mimics the real thing. When motion sensors detect a fly or insect within its jaw, the robot snaps closed, leaving the fly trapped in the jar below for your enjoyment or sick experiments. No mess, just death. Slow and painful death. Potential extreme annoyance hearing the fly buzzing around in the jar though?

Fly Gun

This spring loaded plastic projectile gun makes swatting flies fun. By fun, I mean fun for the whole family, whether shooting it at flies or each other. Can be very frustrating though as the gun sometimes loses its course no matter how fantastic your aim.

Rolled up newspaper or magazine

Just roll up and swat fly when they remain stationary. Inexpensive and easy...unless your aim or reflexes are bad. The aftermath can get pretty messy to clean up though (ewww...fly guts).

Fly swatter

Cheap and easy to find at supermarkets or hardware stores. Method is self explanatory, mess is normally a little less than rolled papers but can still be icky.

Fly Spray

Best option for those with bad reflexes or aim, and those with a penchant for poisonous murder. BUT one has to ask what is worse for your health - fly germs or poison?

Do flies send you into a murderous rage?